Does Fresh really know?

Roamless Hudson: So we’re here, but I don’t know why. Theoretically, this blog gives Bone Fresh, who’s quick to paint himself as a once-in-a-generation genius, the opportunity to spread his proverbial wealth of knowledge to those of us who are less fortunate. But really, if you’ve spent any amount of time with Fresh, you know he’s just constantly spouting off on this and that to satisfy his own urge to prove he’s the smartest person in the room. But is he the smartest person in the room? Hell, he has trouble figuring out if a record is 33 or 45 rpm.

Really, this smacks of Fresh feeding his already bloated ego. Fresh, justify this blog.

Bone Fresh: Justify this blog? Justify it you ask? I think that the blog’s mere existence is justification enough. After all, you just spent several hours this afternoon setting it up and posting to it. (And just proving the point that more often than not I AM the smartest person in the room, you’ve spent considerably more time than would otherwise be required on it, thanks to the fact that you somehow managed to delete the first draft of this post in its entirety.) Therefore you must recognize the immense potential it has to improve the quality of life of all those poor benighted souls, wandering aimlessly through life, their faces darkened by the debilitating weight of their own confusion. Otherwise your entire day thus far has been nothing more than a colossal waste of time.

And yes, at times I do provide you insight and clarification unasked and unlooked for. But if you’re foolish enough to complain about such instances, such complaints only demonstrate your own lack of foresight and understanding. In reality I’m doing you a great favor by broadening your mind, ensuring that greater intellects will accept you as one of their own and lesser intellects will look up to you (as they do to me) as a source of knowledge and wisdom.

As for the records, it’s not my fault when bands mislabel their records. Yeah, I’m looking at you Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s.

Roamless Hudson: You shouldn’t mistake my extreme boredom for validation of your intellectual prowess or this blog’s existence. And I don’t see why my technological ineptitude justifies anything. You can talk all you want, but I don’t hear anything about why I, or our dear readers, should waste time reading what you have to say, besides the fact that you’re an intellectual snob.

wusspie: wait a sec, who are we talking about again?.. Oh yeah, that dude. I’ll have to admit that Fresh has quelled a certain amount of my own aimless wandering but not without sufficiently bruising my already hardened ego. Don’t get me wrong, I question the extent of Fresh’s actual knowledge, but what I have the biggest problem with is the fashion in which he delivers his awe-inspiring know-how. You can query him, but know that he’ll make you look stupid for doing so.

Bone Fresh: Roamless, your objections would be a lot more persuasive if you and wusspie hadn’t already turned to me on several occasions today to resolve your disputes and rescue you from the bewilderment that threatened to consume your afternoon. And that’s just today, it’s completely overlooking the times that our conversations have begun “We were discussing X and didn’t know what the answer was. We figured we’d just wait and ask Fresh.”

I scoff at any complaints of bruised egos and hurt feelings. Enlightenment is much like ripping off a band aid. It’s better to do it quickly and experience any attendant pain all at once. Would you rather that I not answer your questions or share my knowledge, allowing you instead to go through life spouting off incorrect statements and other inanities? I think not.

But if that’s your preference, I suppose you’re more than welcome to it. You can turn to other sources of “wisdom” if you wish, but I question whether Wikipedia will be there to answer the phone at 1:30 a.m. to let you know when and where bands are playing in Austin, TX.